Hey guys! Welcome back to my weed spot, haha! Last night Dean and I were looking at old pictures of my family and me when I was a little girl. We recently did some reorganizing in the bedroom and came across these photos. I don’t know about you, but I love when I see old pictures of my life and the lives of my loved ones. I get to feeling all warm and fuzzy inside!
Enjoying those pictures was the first step in lifting my spirits from the funk they were in! Earlier, I came home in a terrible mood. I was sad (had been crying earlier), stressed, and feeling particularly sorry for myself. Ever make shitty decisions that you KNOW are shitty decisions and make them anyway (please tell me I’m not alone,  haha)? Well, that’s what I have been doing, not all the time of course, but enough tiny poor decisions to accumulate into a big problem at a later date. Turns out that obscure, “sometime in the future” date is NOW and I was feeling the weight of it all. There was a moment, while I was wallowing, when I came to realize that life is made up of small and seemingly insignificant decisions every single day. The sum of those decisions is what makes up the events and occurrences in our lives. So, in keeping with that line of thinking, I had no choice but to claim responsibility for my choices and buck up and fix it all (or at least set a plan in motion)! That’s one of the super powers medical marijuana has done for my anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It has allowed me to open my mind to the fact that I am the driver of my life. I can choose every single consequence by making careful decisions. That is truly an empowering feeling! Anyway, once I came home, saw the pics, started cooking, and took my first puff of Africa, I was well on my way to excellence. Let’s get into it and talk menus:   
Weed: Durban Poison  (click the link to learn more) and Crystalline
Food: Would you judge me if I said pork chops again? Dean begged me. Hahaha!
*BONUS FOOD: Strawberry Funnel Cake, courtesy of Sno-Balls. (Ya’ll these f*ckers are a problem. DE.LIC.IOUS!

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We started smoking about 1:45, maybe a little before.
1:51 I am writing this while also cooking, smoking, and looking at pictures of my parents and me when I was young (uh…multi-task much???). Can I just say I was so freaking adorable??!!! No wonder why people liked pinching my cheeks as a kid! Lol! 1:51
2:04 Well, I was having a particularly shitty day (reference above). Just feeling down about a lot of things and I started getting angry with myself because I could see the areas I was fucking up. For example, it was like knowing I could have earned an A on a test, but didn’t because I chose not to study. Something like that. Anyway, I was DEFINITELY not higher self when I came home, but Dean really came through and helped me feel better. One of those things was to break out the sativa, heavyweight champ Durban Poison, aka Africa (to us)! This strain is LIFE! I immediately began to feel lighter about things that just minutes before heavily plagued me. I was able to see all the great things that happened throughout the day that I had previously ignored. It’s like I had a complete change of mind. This is why I refer to myself after I have used cannabis as “higher self.”
So not only did I get to experience THAT ^^^ , I was also able to focus on a task that needed to be completed. For me that is writing this blog post, but I could be focused on any other task just as equitably. Prior to writing this post, I cooked our entire dinner and cleaned the kitchen. At that time, that’s what I needed to focus on and I accomplished it without complaint. You guys, I cannot tell you how much time I have wasted by mentally complaining about the problem!! When I am high like this, I truly am a much better version of myself fundamentally. With proper, regular meditation after smoking, I don’t doubt how capable of continuously rising above each situation I will become with or without the use of mj. I understand that it takes too much energy to focus on something negative. It’s much more effective to focus on the solution! 2:19

 
3:04 Wow! Took a long break away to eat dinner and converse with Dean. I decided to record our conversation so I will have a listen and decide if I will post it on the new Podcast tomorrow. Eek! Anyway, so now I am back and happily typing away, but am engaged in what Dean is talking about.  Btw, sometime before I stopped typing the last note, I smoked some Crystalline on top of Africa (clearly Dean was trying to blow my top off with this massive concotion!) and O M G I had a total Half Baked moment! Remeber when they were flying over NYC? Swear to God, I felt that damn high! I totally wasn’t ready! Lol!! I pulled myself together enough to type the last note, though.  3:10
3:22 Hi again. More conversations with Dean on the recording about the power of our personal control and what it all means. When I truly think about it, all I can focus on are my tiny decisions leading to bigger decisions, with bigger consequences. We are only as good as our decisions; good decisions yield positive consequences. When I think about how I can literally control every single way I absorb an experience, I feel empowered. I hate to say it, I didn’t always feel that way. I have changed so much, for the better, with or without weed. The weed just elevated my progress and presence even more. 3:33 (got side tracked with a side convo with Dean for a bit)
3:34 About to smoke more Africa sans crystalline (thank God!). 3:34
4:33 Hahaha an hour later and I am back. We’ve been eating and talking more. haha It helps (but doesn’t help if I don’t post it) that we are recording this because it fills in a lot of gaps. One of these days I will get around to the podcast. I still have some concerns about that. Who knows what will fly out of this mouth! LBVS! 4:37

5:49 So, we decided to take a puff or two more out of our good friend, Glass Castle and start taking photos for today’s post. We are by no means photographers, but we are having fun learning photography tricks and tips. I think am done for the night. I wrote 757 words so far and I haven’t even written the intro or summary and I did all the photography myself. Dean gave his creative expertise and I took the shots. Now it’s time for a movie and to puff the last night of freedom away (the kiddo is back from camp tomorrow. YAY!!!!) OH, and Dean ordered funnel cake from Sno-Balls. It’s going down fo reaaal!!
Tootles,
Hardy Har

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Summary Note:
Durban Poison is one of those über special strains that we only break out for parties, celebrations, or in this case, someone is feeling EXTRA shitty-pants (me) because it is so strong! It really is perfect for a party or concert. I felt social, energetic, uplifted, and HAPPY! I didn’t feel like I would be taken advantage of if I wasn’t home. I still had all my faculties in place…UNTIL Dean introduced Crystalline to the mix.
Now, I’ve written before about my love for Crystalline, but don’t get it twisted: that MFer is a serious jolt to the system, thanks to it’s 96% THC content! It dragged my happy ass straight to euphoria, which is truly where I love to be, BUT not when I am trying to work. I can tell you now that when I took my one and only hit of the two together, my boat was DEFINITELY rocked! I had to take 5 minutes to get my life together because I was suddenly feeling the desire to just listen to some good music and dance the night away! Lol! Not exactly great for trying to write, do chores, or anything else productive. If I was at a party and I wasn’t the DD, I would have been the life of the party; for anything requiring focus, I don’t recommend adding Crystalline to your bowl.
I am surprised by how much tolerance I have built up! I remember when Africa used to knock my socks off. It still does, but I am way in control of myself now. I also realized last night I have smoked about 50 various strains!! WHOA! I am such a stoner, now! Hahaha. Gotta say, I am so not ashamed of it. My life has improved in many ways and will continue to improve as long as my mind always it to do so. This is why I will always keep a stash of my favorite medical sativas (actually, everything I smoke is medicinal marijuana).